http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/ List of the latest topics from our public forum. http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/jokes-91/there-s-always-one/ Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!']]> http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/jokes-91/there-s-always-one/ Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:04:37 +0000 sylvia cox http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/jokes-91/scout-s-letter-home/ Scouts letter home re his Camping Trip

Dear Mum,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We...]]> Scouts letter home re his Camping Trip

Dear Mum,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.

Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.]]> http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/jokes-91/scout-s-letter-home/ Thu, 01 Apr 2010 12:55:14 +0000 sylvia cox http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/computers-84/are-computers-masculine-or-feminine/
'House' for ins...]]>
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have bought a better model.

The women won.]]> http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/computers-84/are-computers-masculine-or-feminine/ Thu, 01 Apr 2010 12:23:39 +0000 sylvia cox http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/life-79/life-is-what-you-make-it/ Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayo...]]> Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff.'

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities.The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

'The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend. If you're buying I'm ready.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS...
...IT'S LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN !]]> http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/life-79/life-is-what-you-make-it/ Thu, 01 Apr 2010 12:02:08 +0000 sylvia cox http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/advice-43/giving-students-their-voice/
How best can we do that?

Is it by becoming a ‘Champion’ of student issues, FM – What?

Th...]]>
How best can we do that?

Is it by becoming a ‘Champion’ of student issues, FM – What?

Thoughts please!]]> http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/advice-43/giving-students-their-voice/ Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:06:44 +0000 Kevin Martin http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/fashion-style-87/do-you-think-that-models-are-too-skinny-and-give-us-normal-girls-a-hangup-a/ Every time you look in a magazine or on a catwalk all the models and celebs are super skinny, is that really good for all us normal girls? I think it ... Every time you look in a magazine or on a catwalk all the models and celebs are super skinny, is that really good for all us normal girls? I think it makes us feel fat. I know of a 6 year old girl who wanted to diet because she felt fat, how sad is that! What are your views??? http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/fashion-style-87/do-you-think-that-models-are-too-skinny-and-give-us-normal-girls-a-hangup-a/ Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:12:45 +0000 Debbie Philippe http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/fashion-style-87/cosmetic-surgery-would-you-consider-going-under-the-knife/ http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/fashion-style-87/cosmetic-surgery-would-you-consider-going-under-the-knife/ Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:08:17 +0000 Debbie Philippe http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/likes-80/which-is-the-best-bar-of-chocolate-every-made/ http://www.studyvox.co.uk/index.php?do=/forum/likes-80/which-is-the-best-bar-of-chocolate-every-made/ Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:03:03 +0000 Debbie Philippe